Contingent self-esteem: a sharp knife that cuts you on two sides.

The core of conditional self-esteem

Contingent self-esteem occurs when an individual bases his self-worth on his ability and success in competitive situations.

And what better way to prove yourself than as an entrepreneur! 

Conditional self-esteem initially seems like an effective motivator: because it encourages you to strive for excellence and surpass yourself.

However, this form of self-esteem is inherently unstable and dependent on external factors, which can lead to constant feelings of insecurity and stress.

Even though, as a successful entrepreneur, you will do everything you can to deny and or push away these unpleasant feelings.

The trap of low self-esteem

When you face moments of failure or shortcomings as an entrepreneur, it can lead to feelings of low self-esteem.

These feelings arise from the revelation of ignorance, either to yourself or to others.

The internal or external revelation of ignorance is a painful experience that can damage your self-image and self-confidence.

That is why we all try to avoid this at all costs.

Strategies to avoid revelation ignorance

• Apologies

• • Unrealistically High Goal Setting: By setting extremely high goals, you as an entrepreneur create a scenario where failure is almost expected. This then allows you to "fail honorably" without damaging your self-esteem. After all, no one expected you to make it anyway.
  • Procrastination: This is a common tactic that involves postponing tasks. It provides a temporary escape from the threat of failure and the resulting damage to your self-image.

• Success Guarantee

• • Setting the Bar Low: Some entrepreneurs choose to set their goals so low that success is almost guaranteed. While this can lead to frequent "successes," it deprives you of the opportunity to truly grow and challenge yourself.
  • Avoiding Failure by Succeeding: This is the strategy of the insecure overachiever who avoids difficult tasks. By taking on only tasks that they are certain they can succeed in, they avoid the risk of failure, but also limit their potential for growth and development.

Balancing business success and personal happiness

Conditional self-esteem is really a double-edged sword.

Indeed, on the one hand it is the ultimate motivator, but on the other it leads to fragile self-esteem that depends on external validation. 

Now you may also better understand where it is so difficult to balance personal happiness and business success as an entrepreneur.

Because conditional self-esteem is the ultimate driver of business success and, at the same time, the ultimate killer of personal happiness.

So it is essential for you as an entrepreneur to value your own accomplishments while continuing to seek appreciation from others such as your customers.

After all, without (financial) appreciation from others (customers), you don't make money and you don't make a profit.

Conclusion

By developing your internal sources of self-esteem and learning to better cope with failure, you can build a more resilient and sustainable form of self-esteem, which ultimately leads to both personal and business satisfaction.

So remember:

Happiness = Self-esteem + Euro-esteem.

Or do you see it very differently?